I am gay, I am Muslim and I am proud

Stories from the LGBTQ+ Muslim community in the UK

Credits: torbakhopper - Flickr

Credits: torbakhopper - Flickr

A minority within a minority; that is how the LGBTQ+ Muslim community in England view themselves, a community in fear for their lives and their safety in their own homes with their own families. Drew, Shelina, Syed, Hana and Khakan are five Muslims with strong determination to raise awareness and support for their community. They share their stories of coming out.

All five faced similar difficulties and shared their experiences on how they overcame the struggles and started working on advocating their support for others who could be going through similar struggles.

Shelina, a 25-year-old from London, came out to her family as lesbian when she was 21. She got kicked out of the house immediately.

She said: "I didn’t have a great experience coming out and I think it would’ve been great to have a support network to fall on.

"I came out and then I got kicked out effectively, which was expected.

"I had planned that I was going to come out because I was getting questions like ‘when are you going to get married?'. So, I got myself a job and I came out and I got kicked out.

"I was 21 at the time and I made sure that I had a job and a place to stay for a few months.

"I don’t think that I was ready emotionally. Looking back on it now, it would’ve been great if I had had a support network."

After her difficult experience coming out, Shelina co-founded a charity, Hidayah, to help support other people going through similar situations.

She said: "It was me and one other friend that created Hidayah from scratch.

"As a lesbian Asian woman, there was no representation for me out there and I thought there must be other people like me out there.

"There was nobody out there, like in the media, for me to look up to.

"I didn’t want to see another 15-year-old go through the same things that I went through. I want to show them that it is okay and that you can be happy."

(Background image credit: Omair Haq - Flickr)

Credit: Omair Haq - Flickr

Hidayah’s support work grew over the years and their current chair of the charity, Drew Dalton, says they are now a nationwide charity with four different support groups in London, Leeds, Manchester and Bristol.

Full interview with Drew Dalton:

Drew Dalton, Chair of Hidayah, talks about the struggles of being an LGBT Muslim

Credit: Alexandra Zevallos-Ortiz  - Wiki Commons

Credit: Alexandra Zevallos-Ortiz  - Wiki Commons

In Birmingham, Khakan Qureshi set up a group in 2014 called Birmingham South Asian LGBT - Finding a voice. The main purpose behind that group is to provide role models for the LGBTQ+ Muslims community.

Khakan said: "What I try to do is to just support people to try and be themselves and especially those who try to reconcile faith with their sexual identity.

"The majority of the people who have accessed the group and contact me are from Muslim backgrounds. They all say similar things like they are trying to reconcile their faith with their sexual orientation and then they go further and explain to me the negative repercussions of their coming out.

"What I do as well within my capacity is approach religious leaders and faith leaders."

One of the people Khakan has been helping throughout their journey is Hana -not her real name- who came from Pakistan following a bad experience coming out to her family.

Hana said: “Khakan supported me so much. He is my mentor. He encouraged me and gave me a chance to speak out. What I am today is because of him.

"I was 13 when I realised that I am lesbian. I came to the UK from Pakistan more than eight years ago and here my life is quite well.

"The Muslims and Pakistanis are not ready to accept me, neither here in the UK nor back in Pakistan. But here in the UK, due to the law and order conditions, they can’t say anything to me and can’t do anything against me.

"In Pakistan it is hard. You have two options, hide yourself or just run away. Otherwise, you can’t survive.

"I wanted to run away. My cousin pushed me down the stairs when he found out and I lost my front teeth. I was shouting, screaming and my clothes were covered in blood but no one was ready to help me.

"One of the neighbours helped me out and took me to the hospital. But he thought that the fight was based on arguing over property as I was an orphan. That was a very hard time."

Hana was also denied education in Pakistan after her PHD tutor found out about her sexual orientation. She was in turn denied accommodation on her university grounds after complaints were filed against her by the same academic. She said that she was feeling in the middle of nowhere at that time.

"My life has been full of ups and downs, it’s been full of struggles but I’m still hopeful.

"I am what I am and I can’t change myself to please anyone.

"I have read the 99 names of Allah and they all mean peace and harmony and I know that he has so much love for his creations, so I don’t think that Allah can hate anyone."

Syed (not his real name), a 27-year-old NHS clinical scientist, also came to the UK from Pakistan. He Came out to his mother when he was just 17.

He said: "My mother had a slight idea before, and when I came out it just assured her and she was absolutely fine with it.

"When I was in sixth form, the first friend that I came out to was a Muslim Pakistani. She was born and bred in the UK and I knew that she had an open mentality and an open mind so I thought she would be the best one to come out to.

"I came out to her over text because I did not want to do it face to face. She came straight away to see me that day and assured me that I was still her best mate.

"After that I started to come out to everyone at college and at work."

Syed said that he had faced some difficulties coming out to other members of his family and friends who would treat him differently once they had known.

He said that his relationship with his mother and sister is what has kept him strong during his journey.

You can visit Hidayah's website for more information about their charity work.